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The Blood Bank (2009)

Mr. X (Dan Conrad) is prepared to donate blood at The Blood Bank nearby, however, his interesting past may pose an issue. When the lab technician (Marc Seidenstein) questions Mr. X and prepares for him to donate blood, the conversation, much like Mr. X’s aforementioned past, becomes quite odd. Will Mr. X be able to help those in need by donating blood, or will that past come back to haunt him, leaving people without the blood they desperately need?


The Blood Bank is stupid. Now, bear with me; I’m certainly not saying the short film is bad by any means, but the content is simply ridiculous. Every once in a while it’s nice to kick back and watch a film that is used simply for entertainment purposes. You’re not necessarily going to find a hidden message (not that there isn’t one), and the creators aren’t looking to change the world, they just want to make the people watching happy. Through all of the insanity that is The Blood Bank it’s possible to find an emotional connection because, well, it seems that Vorob, Seidenstein, and director Abi Varghese are simply looking to entertain and provide viewers a reason to laugh. That in itself is emotionally riveting: the fact that individuals you don’t know care about the state of others and their well being. People like this surely exist, and I believe the previously mentioned individuals are examples of that via The Blood Bank.


Conrad has proven himself time and time again in the realm of comedy; he knows how to deliver his lines and he’s well aware of the audience that he attracts. The Blood Bank is no different, as viewers see Conrad soar once again and bring his unique character of Mr. X to life. Mr. X is crude, raunchy, and even vile at times, and it takes a certain person to embody this character, making Conrad the right fit for the job. That’s not to say that Conrad is odd in any way, but rather that he, like I, believes that nothing is off limits in film. In general the purpose of cinema is to entertain on one level or another, and Conrad isn’t shy about making sure that happens.


The stupidity that exists within The Blood Bank doesn’t only stem from Conrad’s acting, however. A large portion of the film’s comedic success comes from Conrad and Seidenstein’s writing. The creativity that exists here is impeccable. I often wonder, as a person who is slowly (very slowly) writing a screenplay, how individuals are able to come up with such incredible ideas. How was Inception or Shutter Island born? While I’m not comparing The Blood Bank to those two films, the reality still remains that Conrad and Seidenstein had to birth the idea for this film. Whether it came from some odd personal experience or it came to them in a dream doesn’t really matter, as they managed to get the words on the page and create something truly entertaining; and I commend them for accomplishing that feat.


The comedy is juvenile, uncomfortable, silly, etc., but it’s entertainment in its simplest form. There isn’t anything flashy about the production of The Blood Bank, and I’d venture to guess that easily offended viewers will struggle to appreciate the film. The reality, however, is that Conrad, Seidenstein, and Varghese don’t care about the negativity, they just want to develop something funny and entertaining, and they achieve that goal. I’m impressed by what this group is able to accomplish, as The Blood Bank forced some belly laughs during my viewing.


Directed by Abi Varghese.


Written by Dan Conrad & Marc Seidenstein.


Starring Dan Conrad & Marc Seidenstein.


⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐½/10


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