I would have liked to make a different film (2025)

-Written by Kyle Bain.

2026 SLAMDANCE FILM FESTIVAL REVIEW!

Nearly ten years ago, filmmaker Suse Itzel began making an autobiography film, one in which she talked about the sexual misconduct of her father and the role she was forced to play in it. I would have liked to make a different film quietly and subtly explores Itzel’s past, creeping through the places that have haunted her throughout her life. 

Individual words resonate with viewers in I would have liked to make a different film, sit with them for the duration of the short film. Words like misshapen, fear, and the like are heard (and seen via subtitles) throughout I would have liked to make a different film, and they never relent. Itzel tells viewers in the opening seconds of her experimental film its purpose, and from that moment the film becomes more difficult to digest, forcing viewers down like a weight, slowly, yet effortlessly. The specific words that Itzel chooses to use throughout I would have liked to make a different film speak volumes to the passion present in Itzel’s film, the meaning behind all that she was able to bring to life, and the potential change that it may have on the world. It’s films like I would have liked to make a different film that have the potential to make exponential change.

While the content of I would have liked to make a different film is presented directly to viewers, the film as a whole is something of a metaphor, traversing the world of tragedy and trauma that so many experience. And the visuals allow these sentiments to seep in even further, making the film even more powerful, more capable of reaching viewers. 

I would have liked to make a different film sees projections move slowly across the walls of Itzel’s past, a visual that I didn’t know could be so powerful. Why does ambient light alter the way we see something? Why does it alter the tone of this short film? It works in the case of I would have liked to make a different film because that light juxtaposes a shadowed, darkened set that accurately represents Itzel’s experiences, aptly representing the film’s intention and providing viewers an opportunity to see how Itzel has grown over the years. An eerie sense exists throughout the film, and tonally Itzel does a splendid job of being consistent in this regard. 

I would have liked to make a different film is harrowing, it discusses the darkest recesses of human capability, and it reminds us that there are monsters out there prepared to take advantage of us for their own benefit. What I would have liked to make a different film also does is remind us that no matter the tragedy that we have faced, no matter how challenging our past has been, there’s a way to move forward. 

Itzel lays it all on the line in I would have liked to make a different film, refusing to hold anything back. Her vulnerability adds even more depth to the aesthetic enigma that is her film, ensuring that nearly everyone will have an opportunity to appreciate her words and her sentiment. 

Written & Directed by Suse Itzel. 

Starring Suse Itzel. 

7/10 = WATCH IT FOR FREE